do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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