I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
