They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
