if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
