at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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