i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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