I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
