:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
