You really coming over, don't trick.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
