Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
