You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
