toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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