so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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