We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
