dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
