Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
