I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
