You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
