I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
