New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
