I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I have fence marks all over my body
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
