I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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