I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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