You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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