ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
