I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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