grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
