i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just forgot I was standing up.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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