i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
