that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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