My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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