I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
