At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Your cock deserves a montage
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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