to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
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