After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I want to fling myself into the sun
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Shame is for Republicans.
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