I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
