do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
