im having a threesome with these popsicles
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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