if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
