their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
