Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
