You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
