It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
