Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
