I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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