this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
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