i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
