Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize