HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Randomize
