My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i came on her dog
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
