well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
