How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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