Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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