nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
