He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
