If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize