Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
