Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
