i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize