why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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