She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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