At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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