Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
