I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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